225. Building Lasting Confidence in Dance: It Takes More than Affirmations

[00:00:00] Hi, I am Dr. Chelsea. Welcome back to Passion for Dance, where my mission is to create happier, more successful dancers through positive mental skills. And today I wanna talk about confidence. It's the most asked question, the most listened to episodes. I can hear it in conversations I'm having with dancers and teachers everywhere.

So many dancers tell me I just need more confidence. Or I'll try to pump myself up before I go on stage. But then my nerves take over the overthinking and the spiraling starts. Sound familiar. Here's the truth about confidence, though lasting confidence doesn't come from repeating affirmations or trying to convince yourself you're good enough.

That type of confidence can feel good in the moment, and affirmations absolutely have their place, but that type of confidence is fragile. It often crumbles the second pressure hits. Once you are truly confident and can trust your training, then those affirmations can be great. But if you're constantly second guessing [00:01:00] yourself or panicking backstage, thinking positive thoughts isn't enough to change things.

Instead, real durable confidence comes from what you do. It's about taking your growth mindset. That belief that you can improve with effort and turning it into consistent habits of action. That's what makes confidence real because it's grounded in experience, not just trying to convince yourself to be confident in the moment. That fake it till you make it. Doesn't actually cut it in high pressure situations unless you have the actions to back it up.

So in this episode, I'll share how you can go from mindset and positive thoughts to action and true confidence. And of course, I'll give you practical tools to start training your confidence just like you train your dance skills.

Welcome to Passion for Dance. I'm Dr. Chelsea, a former professional dancer, turn sport psychologist, and this podcast is for everyone in the dance industry who want to learn actionable strategies and new mindsets to build happier, more successful dancers. [00:02:00] I know what it feels like to push through the pain, take on all the criticism, and do whatever it takes to make sure the show will go on.

But I also know that we understand more about mental health and resilience than ever before, and it's time to change the industry for the better. This podcast is for all of us to connect, learn, and share our passion for dance with the world.

Here's the big problem with confidence. Too many dancers try to think their way into confidence. Maybe you repeat mantras backstage like, I've got this, or you try to hype yourself up with positive thoughts, but then you start to think about your challenging turn section or the complicated musicality, or the fact that you just messed up in warm up and the nerves hit.

Suddenly all that self-talk isn't enough because your body doesn't trust what your brain is saying. Many people are familiar with the idea of a growth mindset, the belief that you can improve through effort. And recent research shows that athletes with a growth mindset do perform better and cope with challenges much more effectively.

But there's [00:03:00] more to it. It only works when those growth mindset beliefs are paired with consistent actions. The positive mindset or growth mindset thoughts need to be rooted in evidence, so you believe yourself. So if you really think I can improve with effort, but you never actually put in the effort to back it up, your confidence collapses under pressure and that positive thought is going to quickly be replaced by another negative thought spiral.

Think about it this way, telling yourself you're a strong turner doesn't mean much if you haven't trained that skill under pressure. But if you've shown up and gone full out in class every day and learned how to recover when you wobble, then you step on stage with confidence because you've proven it to yourself.

And so telling yourself, I'm a strong turner. I've got this is rooted in action and practice, and you can believe it. Confidence is earned through those actions. It's not just about what you think, it's what you've experienced [00:04:00] and proven in your body. Then those positive and growth mindset thoughts will actually help.

So how do we turn mindset into true muscle memory and habit formation actions that will truly help you? Well, let's say you do have a growth mindset. You believe you can get better with practice. That's a great start, but there's the next challenge actually acting on that belief. When fear or doubt shows up, this is where many dancers freeze.

You believe you can get better, but the moment you feel nervous or like you might be judged by people watching you, you hesitate, you hold back. It's scary to try that new skill in front of everyone in class or to be vulnerable at a convention, but actions have to back up your growth mindset.

It has to get out of your head and into your body. So how do you move from mindset to muscle memory? We use what are called cognitive behavioral tools. That just means tools that help connect your mind and body and work to change those negative [00:05:00] thoughts and behaviors that are holding you back. Tools like visualization, coping with stress and self-compassion, because dancers who use those skills are able to push through those moments of doubt.

So for example, visualization is when you picture yourself nailing that highlight section or finishing your routine with energy and power. Visualization is a way to practice success in your brain, so your body is ready to act. I share a lot more about visualization in episode 97, when to do it, why it works, and ways that you can get started.

Another great tool is to reframe stress. Instead of saying, I'm so nervous. Tell yourself my body is ready. Those butterflies you feel before the music starts, that's your body gearing up for performance. It's not weakness, it's readiness.

Reframing that nervous energy in your body to mean you're actually ready and excited is a great way to shift your thoughts, [00:06:00] and I share a lot more about this in a whole series on stress and emotion management. That's episodes 1 94, 1 95, and 1 96. It's a great series if you need help reframing your backstage stress.

The third tool is self-compassion. When you mess up, when you make a mistake in the warmup floor, when you have a really bad rehearsal, when you can't get the choreography. Talk to yourself with kindness instead of, Ugh, I always screw it up. You think that's okay? Mistakes happen. Try again. It makes it easier to keep acting instead of shutting down.

And again, it's about action. Don't give up and keep pushing through to give yourself the evidence you need to boost your confidence. And I actually haven't talked about self-compassion a lot in a standalone episode, so that's coming up soon.

These mental skills are not about thinking positive thoughts. They work when you have put the effort into training so you can [00:07:00] believe yourself. When you visualize success or when you reframe stress, you have to have the evidence first. But if you don't have the actions to back it up, these positive thoughts likely won't be successful. For example, imagine a dancer who always panics before a solo. If she's consistently putting in hard work at the studio and then takes action to control the negative thoughts backstage, she's much more likely to keep acting on a growth mindset instead of freezing.

The tools are building on each other. If she visualizes her performance during warmup, reframes her nerves as excitement and treats herself with compassion, when she makes mistakes, then she's much more likely to have a great performance. But it's about using these tools consistently and creating habits for how to handle your nerves.

They all have to be rooted in taking action. Confidence grows when these tools are habits. You're not just thinking about confidence or telling yourself to be confident. You're training your [00:08:00] body to respond in a way that reinforces those thoughts so you actually feel confident. It's coming up with a plan, practicing it, and taking control.

Another key to confidence is about how you handle failure. Research shows that athletes who bounce back from mistakes who view failure as a part of growth end up with a lot stronger motivation and confidence. So consider a rehearsal where you blank out on choreography happens to the best of us. You're trying to pick up the choreography, and it just isn't sticking.

That's not proof that you can't do it. It's an opportunity to practice recovery, adjusting and trying again. Every time you recover from a mistake, you're giving yourself evidence that you can handle challenges. So if you're going in groups and the first time you go, you completely blank and you're embarrassed, confidence is built in how you handle that moment. Being able to take a deep breath during the next group refocus. Tell yourself, I've [00:09:00] got this. It's an opportunity for growth, and go again. That's when you start to build your confidence and you can trust yourself.

So instead of seeing failure as a threat to your confidence, see it as fuel for building it. Every recovery is a rep in training resilient confidence. Back to my earlier point about using mental tools. If you have the evidence that you didn't give up after a mistake, you can use that evidence when you prepare yourself backstage and think, I've got this.

I'm powerful and I'll finish strong, because you've done it every day in rehearsal. Maybe not done it perfectly, but you've recovered and finished strong consistently. That can give you the confidence you need before you take the stage. Finally, confidence isn't built in isolation. It's also shaped by the environment you are in.

We know that coaches who model growth and give effort based feedback create environments where confidence thrives. Instead of focusing only on outcomes like winning or being perfect, they focus on [00:10:00] action and improvement. And this goes for parents too. If your parents are focused on rankings or who you're competing against, that will pick away at your confidence.

Repeated behaviors become embodied. In other words, what you practice consistently becomes second nature. So if your coach praises you for effort, like saying, I love how you push through that combo, even though it wasn't perfect, you'll keep working on it and improving. That habit of consistent effort builds real confidence.

But if the focus is only on perfection. Many dancers retreat and stop taking risk, which erodes your confidence. So for coaches and teachers listening, the way you reinforce effort and action matters, and for dancers, pay attention to the environment you're in. Surround yourself with people who support the process and effort, not just outcome.

You can speak up and ask for what you need. For every dancer having this conversation with a teacher or a parent may not seem feasible, but I [00:11:00] encourage you to try. We all deserve to be in a studio and home that encourages our confidence, even if that's not our reality. And if it's not your reality, you can still work on your own mindset no matter where you are.

So let's put this all together in a little framework that you can use to act on this information. First, adopt a growth mindset. It's the belief that improvement comes with effort. Mistakes are okay. You're trying to learn and you will get better with time and effort. Then you pair that mindset with daily action. Don't just think it, do it. Create small routines like pre-performance rituals or breathing techniques to take control of your mindset and body before you take the stage.

Use stress as a cue for action. When you feel nervous, treat it as your body signal that you're ready, and then take action. Don't hold back. And remember to train confidence, like a skill, just like a muscle. It grows through repeated reps of doing hard things and succeeding [00:12:00] or doing hard things, and then recovering and trying again. Train your confidence, like a skill. And finally lean on your environment. Work with coaches and teammates reinforce effort and not just results.

To wrap up, confidence isn't just a mindset, it's a byproduct of consistent, purposeful action. Yes, mindset matters, but without the action behind it. Mindset is fragile. When you turn growth beliefs into habits, you train confidence like a skill, and that skill is real, repeatable and resilient under pressure. So the next time you catch yourself wishing you had more confidence, don't wait for it to magically appear someday.

Instead, take action. Each small action is proof to yourself that you are capable, and that's where lasting confidence is built. Thank you for joining me today and if this or any episode resonates with you, please take a second to rate and review the podcast.

You can go to passion for dance [00:13:00] podcast.com, click on reviews, and you can rate it right there on Apple or Spotify. These simple ratings and reviews not only help me keep this podcast going, but it helps us reach more dancers so that we can all be happier and more successful with these positive mental skills. And as always, keep sharing your own passion for dance with the world.

Thank you for listening to Passion for Dance. You can find all episode resources at passion for dance podcast.com and be sure to follow me on Instagram for more high performance tips at Doctor Chelsea dot Otti. That's P-I-E-R-O-T-T-I. This podcast is for passionate dancers and dance educators who are ready to change our industry by creating happier, more successful dancers.

I'm Dr. Chelsea and keep sharing your passion for dance with the world.